Regret
by thir13enth
Summary: Complete. Returning from the memorial, Kakashi finds a 4 year-old girl homeless and hungry on the streets. He changes her life by taking her in, and in return, she changes his life dramatically...especially when her real parent comes home...
1. Cause

**Hey guys, been a while since I've been posting stories and Fanfiction has completely evolved into like this new generation... There's so many unfinished stories and crap (from like two years ago also when I was a lot different than I am right now so that I don't remember anything, but will try because I don't like unfinished things) that I should do, but because of my rather excessive habit of procrastination...**

**Well anyways this whole story idea started when my friend was talking about this book where there's a fantasy creature who talks in one-word sentences. And a few days later when I was thinking over life, what she said came back to my head and...I made a fanfiction. A bit unique but nevertheless my own and I'm proud of it.**

**This chapter is probably going to be the longest in the whole story, and it's the slowest. But it has a bunch of emotions tied up in it, and i like this chapter and the second chapter best So bear with me for now.**

**Enjoy.**

**Midori Fujiwara**

**

* * *

**

Kakashi sighed and looked up at the sky.

It was dusk already. The last time he looked up at the sky was when the sun was still up, nowhere close to the horizon.

_I should go home_, he thought to himself as he took a final glance at one of the names engraved on the memorial rock.

Lingering thoughts of the past distracted him until he passed by a small snack shop. His stomach was annoying him and he decided to buy a bag of Oishi prawn crackers to eat on the way home.

He entered the snack shop and was out of it in the next ten seconds, and around the corner into an empty street when he finally opened the bag. He was about to pull down his mask to eat, but was stopped by a sudden noise.

He turned toward the sound and noticed a young girl sitting against the wall, putting both hands up at him.

_She couldn't be older than four_, Kakashi thought.

"Oishi," she said in a cheery hopeful voice. "Want."

Kakashi looked at the open bag of prawn chips and then at the girl. He held out the bag to her. She quickly grasped the bag in both hands and busily stuffed her mouth with the prawn chips.

_She doesn't even eat with the joy of taste. She only wants to get rid of the hunger_, he observed sympathetically until he realized he was still staring at her.

Apparently, she didn't seem to notice he was still there anyways.

She finished the chips and its crumbs in less than a minute and looked in the empty bag, perhaps to check for any hidden compartments within the bag that might have carried more food. She gave up and tossed the bag aside, with a less than satisfied face.

Only then she looked up and noticed Kakashi still standing there in front of her. Her face turned hopeful again and she put out both hands, asking, "More?"

Kakashi thought a moment before putting out his hand.

She looked confusedly at his outstretched hand before taking it and standing up.

Kakashi couldn't help but notice how small her hands were. What would a four-year-old girl be doing out here alone?

"Where's your mother?" he asked.

The girl looked up at him as if she didn't know what a mother was. She blinked.

_She had to have only recently been out here. A child her age couldn't survive more than a day on her own_, Kakashi realized.

"Your father?" he asked.

The girl's face showed even more confusion and after a while she smiled and said, "Dad?"

"Yes, your dad," he said. "Where—"

"Dad!" She threw her short arms around him. Kakashi gently pulled her off him, quickly realizing she had misinterpretted his words.

She had no father or mother.

But that wouldn't make sense, at this age, without a father or a mother…

She'd be dead.

Kakashi looked again at the girl.

At this point, Kakashi felt too sorry for the girl to just leave her. So he put one hand on her shoulder and said, "Okay, let's go home."

* * *

She ate like she hadn't eaten in days, finishing off every grain of rice that was put on her plate and not leaving one vegetable uneaten.

Kakashi looked out the window. The black night had already taken over the sky.

Kakashi stood, leaving the girl and rest of the food and went into his room. It was clean already, but he moved a few books to the side, stacking them neatly over again, and throwing one of his vests into the closet.

He noticed a random stuffed bear lying in his closet and couldn't remember how it got there. He took the plushie and tossed it onto the bed near the pillow.

"Dad?" he heard her call and Kakashi quickly responded by showing up at her side.

How awkward it was to respond to the word 'dad'.

She rubbed her eyes. "Tired. Very," she said, not a pushy tone, but saying it just as a matter-of-fact.

Kakashi had expected that and lead her to what was once his room. She climbed up onto the bed and made herself comfortable. She looked once at the stuffed bear before cuddling it against her. Kakashi closed the bedroom door and looked at the table, where there were absolutely no traces of food left. He wasn't surprised at how much she ate; he hadn't put out a lot of food. But he was surprised at how cleanly she ate. He stared at the empty dishes a moment before clearing the table and washing the dishes thoughtlessly.

He turned off all the remaining lights in his apartment when finished and settled on the couch, taking one of the pillows on it and putting it under his head.

As his eyes began to readjust to the dark, he thought a long while before even trying to settle into some sleep.

He suddenly realized that she had climbed up onto the bed, knowing exactly what it was without him signifying anything. This meant she had lived in a home at least before.

She could have gone missing. But if she didn't even know what he was talking about…

Kakashi pushed his thoughts aside.

Otherwise this would keep him up the whole night.

* * *

Kakashi left his apartment early in the morning, locking the door before leaving. He had planned to have a teamwork training session today with Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke. He was supposed to meet them at eight, but it was now around nine. He was late, but he was pretty sure they would have expected that. The only thing he would get as punishment would be Naruto and Sakura yelling at him at the same time in loud voices. That and a hard glare from Sasuke.

He decided he could afford to take his time getting to the meeting point.

And sure enough once he was in sight, as if on cue, Naruto and Sakura angrily pointed at him, screaming his crime of lateness.

"Relax, I was helping an unfortunate cat out of a tree," he excused himself.

"My ass," Naruto muttered, but Kakashi heard.

"Late?" Kakashi heard a small voice behind him.

He swiveled around to see the girl he had been taking care of.

Oh.

He had forgotten that he had told her to stay with him.

At least he now knew she listened.

"Who's that, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked him.

"Oh…I have to take care of her for some time," Kakashi said.

"Oh, she's cute…what's her name?" Sakura asked, stepping toward the girl.

Kakashi put one hand on the back of his head and admitted, "Actually, I don't know." He smiled sheepishly.

"Some caretaker you are," Sakura said and lowered her face down to the girl's height.

"What's your name?" Sakura asked amiably.

The girl said, "Rin."

A sudden pain crippled Kakashi. Rin? Why did her name have to be Rin? Rin like…

his lost team member.

Kakashi tensed. And they were doing a teamwork training today…a vivid image of Minato-sensei, Rin and Obito flickered through his mind. Obito…the deceased Uchiha who had saved Kakashi from his death and given the Sharingan eye as a…departing gift to him. Rin…the medical-nin of their team, whom Kakashi had vowed to protect to serve Obito's death wish…she had mysteriously disappeared and by the time Kakashi came back from a mission after leaving her for a few days was assumed dead and missing. And Minato-sensei…his sensei…and the one who had sacrificed his life to encase the Nine-Tailed Fox within Naruto's body…

_I never should have took her in_, Kakashi thought, closing his eyes. _I should have just left once I gave her the bag of prawn chips._

Sorrow engulfed him. It was his entire fault. If he would have just went with Obito in the first place…if he had just come back from the mission earlier to catch Rin before she went missing…

He was disturbed by the sudden quietness that surrounded him. He paused his thoughts and glanced around him to see everyone quiet and watching him.

Had they asked a question?

"Hm?" Kakashi answered, though he could tell his response was a bit late.

They didn't say anything, but Kakashi knew that something was going on about him in their heads.

Kakashi looked back at Rin.

Actually, Rin did look like his teammate Rin. Just a younger version. Four-year-old Rin had straight black-brown hair that reached her elbow and green eyes. Despite the differences, this Rin still somehow reminded him of the past Rin.

Perhaps this Rin was….

the reincarnation of the past Rin?

Coming back to haunt him…

* * *

The next morning, he lay there on the couch.

He had to turn Rin in so that her parents could be found and she could be taken back to her family. She belonged to her father and mother, whoever they were, and not him. _Especially_ not him. Kakashi didn't want a living memento of Rin walking around his apartment all day.

"_Okay, where the hell are we?" Kakashi said softly, flicking out the map. There was silence as Rin and Obito sat beside him, Rin looking at the map with Kakashi and Obito stretching, yawning and rubbing his eyes._

_Kakashi's eyes quickly glanced over the map and looked to the left beyond Obito. A small body of water lay not too far away from them._

"_Perfect, we're on track, we go that way across the water," Kakashi said, pointing to the left. There was still silence and no verbal response as the three got up and began to walk toward the water._

_Kakashi was sure to put his awareness at a very high level. The three of them hadn't got attacked yet, even after some long time, and Kakashi had a strange premonition that something bad was going to happen. And someone was probably tracking them down too…the previous hour, they nearly got caught in a trap._

_The three of them began to walk across the water, with Kakashi in front, Obito after, and Rin directly behind. Kakashi made sure to keep track of what was in the wtaer, in case enemy forces were going to come up from below. He had a strong feeling that enemies were going to attack within the next few seconds._

_He had to always be the one on the lookout. Obito Uchiha…even though he was a member of the Leaf Village's most elite shinobi family…he was only a crybaby ninja who claimed to be able to surpass Kakashi once his Sharingan awakened. Surpass _Kakashi_…who was already a jounin at 13. And then Rin…a medical ninja with a gut tougher than Obito's, but nevertheless just about as weak as him. But at least Rin had extremely talented skill as a med-nin._

_So Kakashi was in charge and Kakashi was always on lookout._

_Kakashi took a step and froze. He sniffed the air a bit and lifted his hand to reach behind him and unsheath his chakra blade…_

_Shuriken and kunai came shooting down at the three of them from above at bullet speed._

_Kakashi saw Obito make a few hand seals before blowing a great fireball up at the projectiles to swerve their path. The projectiles landed harmlessly into the water around the team._

_Noticing someone with two swords coming down from the air at them, Kakashi flicked his chakra blade out and blocked the impact._

_From there on, it was a tag game between Kakashi and the enemy, Kakashi following the enemy, leaping off tree to tree. Every so often, they met in midair with a clang of weapon to weapon._

_And finally as the tops of the trees were coming closer, the enermy descended back down to the earth again, Kakashi falling in after him…_

_And then a shrill wail of pain from Rin._

_Kakashi landed on the water next to Obito and quickly looked to see what was going on._

_There was another enemy, and he was now carrying Rin, who seemed unconscious. The enemy Kakashi had been chasing landed down on a rock beside the other enemy._

"_We'll look after this one," the enemy said._

_Kakashi's eyebrows furrowed. There were _two _of them? And one of them served as distraction? How could have he been so stupid not to notice?_

"_Guh!" Obito said, frustrated._

_Kakashi realized they'd take Rin away for interrogation…maybe if he could just…_

"_Wait!" Kakashi yelled._

_But the enemies, with Rin, had disappeared with an explosion and a cloud of smoke._

_Kakashi and Obito watched in shock as the smoke lifted and began to clear away, wondering what they could possibly do next._

_Kakashi thought quickly. They'd get Rin later…they just had to get the mission over with first! And be quick enough before something happens…to Rin!_

"_Dammit!" Obito yelled, running after their scent._

_A memory, a déjà vu, shot through Kakashi. No! If Obito went after them…_

"_Obito! Don't go after them!"_

_Obito swiveled around in confusion._

"_What? What the hell are you saying?" Obito demanded._

"_Don't you get it?" Kakashi shot back._

_Obito blinked…a little more confused. "Yeah…" he said in an unsure way but with a confident tone._

_Kakashi decided to explain simply. "The two of us will resume the mission."_

"_Rin…what about Rin?" Obito shouted._

_Kakashi knew Obito wouldn't agree with him. He'd care for her safety. So Kakashi had to make a good argumnt. Good enough to lessen Obito's worrying. Obito did, after all, like Rin. _

_A lot._

"_Leave Rin for now," Kakashi explained, knowing already he was off to a bad start at persuading. "The enemy wants to know our aim…they won't kill her yet…Besides, luckily, Rin's a medical ninja. Even as prisoner, she should be treated well…as long as she looks after the enemy's casualities._

"_More importantly…" and Kakashi paused briefly, seeing Obito jerk in anger when Kakashi said the two words, "the issue is the enemy discovering our aim. If they find out they'll go straight to the bridge for an attack. If that happens, the mission will become too difficult."_

_Kakashi could tell he hadn't convinced Obito yet. Damn it, didn't Obito know what could happen? If they got distracted? That was the enemy's whole plan. They weren't going to do anything with Rin. They would simply throw them off by taking her. And besides, if Kakashi and Obito won the mission, the enemy would lose. And the enemies would be forced to give back Rin. If Kakashi and Obito went chasing after Rin, Minato-sensei and the others, who were distracting the enemy while the three of them were sneaking behind to destroy the bride that replenished the enemy's forces...their efforts to stall would have been lost. They couldn't distract forever. _They _could lose their lives while Kakashi and Obito were chasing after someone who would probably _stay _alive!_

"_What you're saying doesn't include Rin's safety!" Obito yelled. "If those guys were just unthinking flunkies, what would happen then?"_

_Kakashi knew that wasn't likely. The two enemy they had just encountered were quite clever, to be able to distract both Kakashi and Obito while the other took hold of Rin. And even if the two enemies had nothing to do with the war and simply took Rin for the fun of it…_

"_More importantly than the mission…" Obito continued. "We have to rescue Rin!"_

_Kakashi couldn't believe it. He was caught in the same situation…same predicament…as….as…_

_Kakashi took a deep breath before explaining. "As a shinobi…" Kakashi said, "sometimes it's essential to sacrifice your companions for the accomplishment of the mission…that's a 'law'…If the mission fails, war will continue…and many more sacrifices may occur…"_

"_That's just speculation!" Obito yelled, anger to a maximum boil. Obviously he was trying to explain his point to Kakashi. But Kakashi understood his view well. If someone you liked…loved…was at risk, of course you'd forget everyone else. If for example Kakashi had been taken instead of Rin, Kakashi was sure Obito would have continued the mission…or at least bit less opposed in an argument like this._

_Kakashi and Obito were never the best of friends anyway. Maybe their relation didn't even deserve the term 'friends'._

"_Just for that," Obito continued. "You'd simply throw away a companion who's been with you thick and thin?"_

_No, Obito. Kakashi would get Rin later. The more time they wasted arguing, the more risk Rin was in for. And the mission as well._

"_When you and I were injured, she saved our lives with her medical jutsu!" Obito argued. "If she hadn't been there, we'd be long dead!"_

_Kakashi paused, silenced for the moment. "…that was Rin's duty."_

_Kakashi had expected a response, but he hadn't expected a blow to the face from Obito. It was a direct, jaw-breaking punch that threw Kakashi right down to the ground._

"_I definitely can't stand you!" Obito shouted._

_Kakashi recoiled, ignoring the dull pain he felt in his teeth. "Whether you hate me or not, I'm still your commander…you must obey my instructions." Kakashi fixed his mask while continuing. "No matter what happens, if the team is scattered, there's only one leader. Therefore, you must follow the instructions of the commander…" Kakashi sighed and softly said, "Obito…you haven't gotten any strength…because of that, I'm this team's leader."_

_Obito attacked back like a snake, taking hold of one the straps on Kakashi's armor and saying, "If that's the case, why do you refuse to help Rin? Only _you _have the strength to save your companion!"_

_Kakashi stood up slowly. "If you let your emotions run free and fail your mission, you'll regret it in the future. Because of that, the rule was decided that a shinobi must kill his emotions…you must understood that too."_

_Obito looked down in frustration._

_Obito wasn't going to understand. He didn't know like Kakashi had…about what happens when the mission fails because of going back to save a teammate…of course he didn't know…Kakashi wouldn't have known either..but…_

"_Rin…"Obito said. "Rin gave you a medical pack out of concern for you…and she sewed a charm into it!"_

_Kakashi knew that while Obito liked Rin, Rin liked Kakashi. But Kakashi had never let that distract him. Emotions were to be killed…they were unnecessary thing…_

"_The medical pack and the medical jutsu were to increase the success rate of the mission," Kakashi said slowly. "That is the brilliant system devised by Konoha…but yesterday…didn't I say 'if you receive unnecessary things, they just become excess luggage'?"_

_Kakashi waited for Obito's reaction._

_Nothing._

"_The most important thing to a shinobi is to be a tool in order to complete the mission…emotions are unnecessary things," Kakashi said._

_Obito looked at him with a little less anger and with an increasing amount of disbelief._

"_Are you serious?" Obito asked him. "Do you seriously think like that?"_

_Kakashi felt his face go from an angry hard stare to a blank, pensive and sorrowful state. He no longer saw Obito in front of him._

_He saw his father…_

_Obito didn't know…_

_Kakashi's eyebrows furrowed again. No…Kakashi couldn't make the same mistake his father had._

"_Yes…that's right," Kakashi said and Obito put his hand on Kakashi's shoulder, anger filling up again after the slightly mollified moment._

"_Fine then…" Obito said. "From the beginning, you and I were like water and oil…I'm going to rescue Rin!" And then the hand that was on Kakashi's shoulder shoved Kakashi back as Obito turned to go in the opposite direction._

"_You don't understand anything!" Kakashi found himself blurting out loud. "What happens to those who don't follow the rules…"_

_Obito didn't break stride, saying, "I believe that the White Fang is a true hero…"_

_Kakashi's eyes widened and he was speechless for an uncomfortable amount of time._

"_Of course," Obito continued, still walking. "Those in the ninja word who break rules and regulations are called trash…but…" Obito turned his head to the side to look at Kakashi. "those who don't care about their companions are even worse trash."_

_And Obito continued to walk, looking ahead of himself again, looking away from Kakashi. "Anyway, if I'm that kind of trash, I'll break the rules! If that's not being a true shinobi…then I'll _crush _that idea of being a shinobi!"_

"Dad?"

Kakashi looked up to see Rin's face looming over him.

"Time," she simply stated.

Kakashi turned his head to the clock.

"Seven," he told her.

"Go," she said and pointed to the door.

Perhaps she wanted to go somewhere?

"Late," she said and pointed to the door again. "Go."

Time? Late? Go? Was she telling him that he was late and that he should be going? Which reminded him…he had arranged a meet at 7:30 with the team to work on chakra control after he noticed during yesterday's training the team was wearing down out of energy quickly.

He was amused but did not smile or laugh. A four-year-old girl had more time sense than he did? He almost felt like laughing at himself.

Reluctantly, he stood and started out the door.

* * *

"Kakashi-sensei?" all three of them said when he got there, as if they were surprised to see him.

"What," Kakashi said.

"But…but…you're _here_!" Naruto said.

"Of course," Kakashi said, "I'm supposed to be, yes?"

The team seemed to be at loss for words.

"You're early," Sasuke simply said a while later.

Kakashi blinked. "And?"

The team looked at him as if he were stupid.

* * *

On the way home, Kakashi stopped by the memorial.

_Kakashi watched Obito walk away, seeing if Obito really was going to rescue Rin. Yet Obito didn't look back and continued to walk, not expecting Kakashi's help._

_Kakashi took his last glance at Obito. Obito wouldn't know he was making a mistake. He'd just die trying to save Rin._

_Kakashi tore his eyes away and turned off in the opposite direction._

_Obito…_

_Obito had called the White Fang of Konoha a true hero…_

_The White Fang…_

_Sakumo Hatake…_

_Kakashi's father…_

_Kakashi's father was a well-known shinobi throughout the lands, called the White Fang of Konoha. So great, he was compared to the Legendary Sannin: Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Orochimaru._

_Kakashi had been proud to have a genius father and it was because of his father that Kakashi had attained such heights as a shinobi. And of course, everyone in Konoha was proud to have the White Fang among them as well…_

_But then…_

_On a mission…his father had gone and saved all his comrades, aborting the mission for the sake of all his teammates' lives…the mission failed. Konoha was greatly damaged as a consequence. And when Kakashi's father came home, he wasn't greeted by happy crowds of civilians as had been usual. Instead he was greeted by silence and disappointment._

_Kakashi's father was shunned by the village for failing such an important mission. Even the people whose lives he had saved…even_ they _shunned him._

_Kakashi's father was blamed for all the trouble and turmoil that happened then after. And finally, his father could no longer take it anymore._

_His father committed suicide right in front of Kakashi's eyes._

_And now…_

_Five years later, Kakashi was in the same predicament, put into his father's situation. His father's life had been wasted in one mistake. Kakashi wasn't going to make the same mistake again._

_But now, Obito was._

_A shooting pain in his right shoulder interrupted his thoughts. Kakashi held the pain with his left hand, twinging._

_His wound from the other day. The one that Rin had not quite finished working on. Rin had said that it was healed, but if he overdid it, the wounds would reopen…_

_Rin…_

_He remembered bits of Obito's argument with him…and then Minato-sensei giving him advice from before…that Kakashi had to be able to adapt and cope with the situation…and that the rules and regulations were not everything there was…_

_And then…when Obito had called his father a true hero…_

_A hero…_

_Those who don't care about their companions…_

_are worse trash…_

…

_It didn't take Kakashi long too find Obito._

He felt someone tug at his sleeve.

He looked down and saw Rin's face looking up to him.

"Sad?" she simply asked, her small eyebrows slightly furrowed together in worry.

He just looked at her and thought about how nїeve and innocent Rin was. He was killing both traits by exposing her to sadness.

But then again, her nїeveness and innocentness may have been cleared away already by the pain of living on the streets with hunger and no family.

"No sad," she said and tugged him in the direction away from the memeorial rock.

He just looked at her again.

Her eyes stayed fixed on his one eye and she tugged at his sleeve again, repeating, "No sad."

Kakashi at first didn't really know what to think. What could one think when someone tells one not to be sad?

"Sad bad," she said.

_The kid's going to be a psychologist when she grows up_, Kakashi thought.

Sorrow is bad, so one shouldn't be sad…

Kakashi finally took a step in the direction she was tugging at…the direction of home…

He gave the memorial a departing glance.

But how can one not be sad…if one caused one's friend to die and suffer?

* * *

For two straight days, Kakashi had not been to the memorial under Rin's command. He had also not been late those two days for anyone.

These were all good habits, but Kakashi couldn't help but feel awkward not stopping by the memorial and not losing track of time so often. It was like that meant he was putting the tragedy of his past behind him. That would be like betraying his friendship with Obito…if he didn't remember Obito…no one would…

And all those times he had brought down Obito by harsh words and criticism…in the end Obito gave his life and Sharingan eye to Kakashi…and he died before Kakashi could even repay him…

What kind of friend was Kakashi?

So ever since Obito's death when Kakashi was thirteen, he had been visiting the memorial at least once every day, excepting when he was on a mission and couldn't possibly, up to now, in hopes of that being a way to show how much appreciation Obito deserved.

It was only too bad that Obito wasn't alive while Kakashi finally began to actually show his appreciation for Obito.

And now, not going to the memorial at all for two straight days was…

like showing Obito he didn't care anymore.

It hurt Kakashi.

Luckily, Rin was still sleeping when Kakashi woke up that morning. Of course she was still asleep; he had woken up at three this morning in discomfort of not going to the memorial.

He would go this morning, without Rin knowning.

He felt ridiculous going at a time when Rin wasn't awake to know. Why should he have been listening to the little kid anyway?

_Because…_he heard himself think as he left his apartment, _when I'm sad, she's sad too.._

He paused a bit, but then continued on his way to the memorial.

Which reminded him a question.

Why didn't he just turn Rin in to the Hokage so that Rin could be returned to her parents or given in to the orphanage? Had he just forgotten to do that? Kakashi scolded himself. If he had done that the minute he thought of doing that, he wouldn't have missed two days in his record of visiting the memorial.

Without Rin, he wouldn't have missed visiting the memorial, but he wouldn't have made it early at least three times in a row. And without Rin…

it would have been quite quiet in the apartment.

_Hn..._, he thought, _I'm missing the joy of having company…that's why I let her stay…_

But company and friends and new relations was another thing he was trying to avoid also. After all the memories of childhood and losing all family and friends…everyone he had ever loved…

he didn't want to go through that again.

The pain of losing someone more.

The memorial rock was now in front of him.

The engraved name of 'Obito Uchiha' screamed at him.

Kakashi mentally apoligized to Obito, and quickly scolded himself.

It was too late for sorry.

Kakashi put his left thumb over the engraved name.

Was it really engraved there?

Was Obito really dead?

He had hoped his life had only been a nightmare.

His fears were confirmed once again when his thumb felt the ridges carved into the stone.

Obito's death was real.

"Sad?" a voice said.

_I'm dreaming, I fell asleep trying to get here, _Kakashi thought before looking down.

Yet there she was.

Rin.

His mind went over to question how the hell she even got here, but he quickly pushed that thought aside.

"Yes," he said quietly to the little girl.

Rin's face frowned and then she stepped toward the rock and tried to reach her hand up to where Kakashi had his thumb.

On Obito's name.

Kakashi's heart softened a bit and he reached down to lift Rin up so that her hand could actually reach Obito's name. He watched her small index finger trace the engraved name, fitting right into the depressions.

Rin stared a bit before looking back at Kakashi and asking, "Sad? Here?"

Kakashi blinked and then set Rin down on the ground.

He crossed his arms.

"Why?" her voice asked.

Kakashi felt himself suddenly wish that he could express himself to her. He probably could, but he didn't want her to lose her generally positive attitude toward the world…the childish innocence that once even he had himself…

He suddenly felt all these needs to talk to someone…to spill out all his emotions at…

Kakashi closed his eyes for a full second, breathing some stress away, trying to keep everything in, all together.

He looked down at Rin, who was still looking at Obito's name.

He suddenly felt the desire to punch something…

"Come on," she said to Rin. "You need to get back to sleep."

* * *

He had waited until a few minutes after he thought she was asleep. Then, he set all the wooden boards up. He hung them on rope that hooked from his ceiling. He arranged the boards in no specific pattern. He stared for a while, and then tested one of the boards with his hand, pushing it.

It swung back and forth.

Each of the wooden boards he hung up were at least an inch thick, and made of hard, sturdy, and dense wood.

It was his version of makiwara boards.

Makiwara boards consisted of four wooden planks nailed into a wall, in the shape of a cross to resemble a human. Their purpose was short and simple, but deadly. One used the makiwara boards to kill the nerves in the user's hands and feet. The user would punch or kick the makiwara boards day after day. Eventually, the pain in attacking would go away. Then the user had an advantage: when the person attacked, he or she would feel no pain.

Only Kakashi had broader wooden boards that were hung from the ceiling.

Meaning the boards swung back once hit.

Kakashi hadn't done makiwara training for a long time, and he almost winced in the pain he knew he would feel at his knuckles when this was over.

But he needed to get all this stress out. Kakashi fell into a fighting position and let his mind fall blank.

He cracked his knuckles.

Oh well, he needed the practice anyway.

He started with a straight punch from the right hand against the board in front of him, with most of his anger and thoughts behind it. As a surge of pain jolted through his arm from the impact, he thought about how completely unnecessary and inefficient it was to put the most effort in the first punch. As he was waiting for the first board to come swinging back, he set the board to the left of him with a swinging kick with the right foot around from behind himself, setting the second board into motion.

He hit the next one by flipping himself forward and bringing down his left heel near the center bottom of it.

He almost had the first board hit back at him and hurriedly threw out his left fist to block it. Another jolt of pain climbed up his arm.

The pain was sharp, but his muscles were warmed up now because of it.

He almost liked it.

Quickly he set the fourth and last board into motion and kicked back the second board in one move.

Then the third board.

Again with the first.

Quickly the fourth and second.

Hit the third board.

Attack first board.

Double kicks in opposite directions for fourth and second.

Punch on third.

It all became a rhythm of pain and attacks after about five successions. Depsite his fits and heels screaming in agony, he continued for a long time, non-stop.

Into the time the sun rose.

Until the blocks showed red streaks and smudges.

To when the heat building up under his clothes soon became unbearable.

But he wasn't done yet.

In the middle of his attack, he slipped out of his vest and threw it onto the couch. He noticed that the makiwara boards weren't swinging at their full extent like when he started.

He was weakening…

Kakashi added his shirt to the couch next to his vest. Now all he wore were his stay-at-home black jeans and his sleeveless shirt along with his mask, which was part of the shirt. He kept his headband over the Sharingan eye on; he didn't need more chakra to be wasted.

Then he braced himself for a second round of makiwara boards.

May this session go to noon.

He pulled back his right fist and was about to punch the board as hard as he could when he heard a small voice, timid and quivering, in almost what was fear.

"Angry?"

Kakashi didn't bother to respond it Rin. He let out his blow onto the makiwara board. There was a loud thwack and Kakashi swore his knuckles broke, if they hadn't broken already.

He heard a small whimper, almost inaudible and immediately stopped his makiwara assault. The makiwara board swung back toward him, and hit his still-outstretched fist, bringing the board to complete stop.

Without turning his head, Kakashi finally looked to the side at Rin, who held the stuffed bear tightly, and with eyes wide in fear, almost regret.

He stood up to his full height and took a glance at the backs of his gloved hands. He was pretty sure the flesh under the gloves was far past severed and injured.

He looked back at Rin. He had never seen her so frightened before…perhaps she had been through a bad past experience featuring anger?

He almost felt like apoligizing to her, but instead, noticed that her eyes began to glaze over.

Rin tilted her head down and Kakashi observed a few tears fall onto the head of the stuffed bear. Rin's hand reached up to her face and rubbed her eyes, which continued to produce tear drops.

_Damn, I made her cry_, Kakashi scolded himself. _So much for her childhood._

Kakashi used his right arm to lift her up.

The stuffed bear slipped out of her arms and fell to the floor.

"Onigiri…" she said in the middle of crying.

She had even named the stuffed animal. Kakashi picked it up and put it back into her protective arms.

He carried her to the couch, avoiding the random makiwara boards and sat her down.

"It's okay," he said, not really sure what to say to comfort a little kid.

She sniffled, but tears continued to fall.

Kakashi suddenly noticed how the girl didn't make any noise when she cried.

She just …cried.

Who knows how much this girl could have been through?

"What happened?" he asked, taking a seat next to her on the couch.

Rin looked up at him, in a hiatus of tears, but then she looked down and seemed to cry even harder.

"No…don't cry," Kakashi said, a little worried, but at the same time, almost desperate to get the child to stop crying. He didn't even have any idea of why she was crying. It couldn't have just been him getting stressed out and using the makiwara boards…

Could it?  
"Don't cry," Kakashi repeated and put one hand on her back. Rin merely reacted by pulling up her legs to hide her face.

"No…" Kakashi muttered. "No…no…"

"No sad," he suddenly said, repeating the exact same words Rin had used with him when he was at the memorial.

Rin suddenly froze.

"No sad," he said again.

Rin looked up, rubbing her eyes. "No sad?"

"Sad bad," he continued.

It was like a little language of their own, that he and Rin alone shared…

Rin smiled up to him weakly, and wiped the remainder of her tears,

"No sad," she said, smiling like nothing ever happened.

* * *

"Oishi," Rin had said.

And Kakashi took her to the snack shop to get prawn crackers.

He entered the shop and noticed a little flyer stating that there would be a memorial service at the memorial stone. He looked through the names and noticed that Obito Uchiha wouldn't be mentioned. He was filled with many emotions at once: disbelief that Konoha had already forgotten him, anger that they didn't commemorate him, grief for the past, hopelessness in knowing Obito would never get the appreciation he deserves…and just this overall…lost feeling.

Like he felt that he was just an observer of the world and he wasn't really controlling his body…almost that dream feeling…

Only this was a nightmare…

_Obito had found the enemy's hideout, spying in the trees on a limb and was planning out his attack to rescue Rin. _

_But what Obito didn't know was that one of the enemies was behind him, using a jutsu that made him invisible._

_Kakashi saw Obito about to launch an attack when the enemy behind him gave a verbal threat._

_In the time it took for Obito to spin around…_

_that was how long it took for Kakashi to react and come down from above to slash his chakra blade at the enemy._

_The enemy was left with a nice slash across the chest that bled quite heavily, and at the force of impact was thrown back against another tree limb._

"_Ka…Kakashi…you…"Obito stammered. "Why?"_

_Kakashi quickly replied, "Hah! I can't leave it all to a crybaby ninja like you alone!"_

"_Silver hair and that white chakra blade…" the opponent said, standing up. "Impossible…you…Konoha's White Fang?"_

_Kakashi twirled his chakra blade once hold it out in front of him threateningly. "This is a memento of my father," Kakashi said, regarding the weapon he held in front of him._

"_I see…" the enemy said, slowly turning invisible again. "The White Fang's brat…there's no need to worry in that case…"_

_Kakashi quickly sniffed the air, taking in all the scents…Great, just as he had expected…_

"_His scent has been completely removed," Kakashi said. "I'll only be able to track him by movements in air currents and sounds."_

_Obito hesitantly glanced around. "Wh…where is he?" Obito asked._

_Kakashi suddenly heard a tap behind Obito._

"_Obito! Behind you!" Kakashi said, putting himself between Obito and the enemy. _

_He didn't know he himself was attacked until the sight in his left eye was gone._

Kakashi was disturbed by the laughter in the background. He turned around and saw Rin cowarding with a pack of prawn crackers in her hand and Onigiri in her arm. Two men were towering over her and making fun of her, obviously.

"You don't even have the money, little kid. Why don't you beg for some and then come back?" one of them said.

Kakashi saw Rin's face turn frightful and afraid. So afraid she looked like she'd burst into tears.

"Look she's so scared…clutching that animal like it'd save her…" the other commented.

"How about I take her 'guardian' away from her?"

Kakashi reacted.

The man who had suggested taking away Rin's stuffed animal stretched out his arm to reach for her stuffed bear, but Kakashi, in one fluid motion, put out the several yen into the man's hand, enough to pay for the prawn crackers exactly, picking Rin up from the floor, and simply walked away from the men and out of the snack store.

Rin never looked more thankful when Kakashi put her down, away from her assaulters.

* * *

Rin also wanted to have somewhat of an exploration day around the village. It was chilly outside, the consequence of the coming winter. Kakashi didn't have any jackets her size, as expected, so he went to a snow sport supply store.

It turned out that Rin was slightly smaller than the smallest size, but Kakashi decided that the large size of it might be better anyway to keep warm, except that cold air might slip throught the bagginess of it. He didn't bother looking for smaller sizes; he doubted there would be anyhow.

Rin chose a light blue jacket that came with a blue and white scarf, along with dark blue mittens and a light blue boots.

Winter was coming

Snow was coming.

And she'd want to play in it of course.

So Kakashi didn't have any objection to buying the whole outfit.

He thought about it a while after they left the store and were headed to the park. If he had bought her winter clothes, than he was telling himself that Rin would be staying with him through the whole winter? Would he really be caring for her up to then? Buying the winter clothing, he was definitely telling himself that…

He saw Rin run out to the swings. As he walked, following her, he saw her try to climb on the seat.

He lifted her onto the seat and she grasped the chains of the swing tightly. Kakashi gave a slight push to the swing and Rin laughed with enthusiasm.

"_Gyah!" Kakashi yelled, thrown back at the impact. "My eye!"_

_Kakashi heard Obito yell, "Kakashi!"_

_Kakashi instinctively put his left hand up to feel his eye, where all the pain was…_

_Kakashi felt tears, but when he looked at his fingers with his good eye, he found that what was dripping down his fingers was not tears. _

_But rather, blood._

_Kakashi sniffed the air quickly again._

_Damn._

_The enemy already got rid of the kunai he had used against Kakashi._

"_Kakashi!" Obito yelled, worried. "Hey, Kakashi! Are you alright?"_

"_Yeah," Kakashi managed to say while his eye began to pulse. Kakashi could feel his own heartbeat in throbs of pain. "The enemy…" he said during the hiatuses of pain he received for every five seconds of painfull hell. "He's skilled…he's already quickly gotten rid of the kunai with the scent of my blood on it."_

_Kakashi watched Obito tear up, in the verge of crying._

"_Dirt in your eye again?" Kakashi asked._

_Obito wore goggles all the time to protect his eyes from getting dirt in them. He didn't like to be seen crying._

_But now he was._

"…_shinobi don't cry…"Kakashi said. "I'm not dead yet."_

_Kakashi watched Obito lift his goggles to rub his eyes._

_Sensing the chakra of someone else close, Kakashi warned, "Don't let your guard down!"_

_And then suddenly, Obito turned, stabbing out behind him with a kunai._

"_Die!"Obito yelled._

The swing suddenly quieted and the laughter began to deaden away.

"Dad?" Rin's voice suddenly called.

The word 'dad' hurt him. Not because she was calling him her father when he really wasn't, but because she said it in such a tone like the way she had when she asked if he was angry when he was caught with the makiwara boards.

He looked up. The swing began to slow to a stop. Rin looked back at him.

"Sad?"

He didn't say anything.

"Rock? Go?"

* * *

_Perhaps Rin is understanding now_, Kakashi thought as the two of them had reached the memorial. _She doesn't object to me coming here anymore…_

_Kakashi watched as the air that Obito had stabbed began to shape out into the figure of the enemy, color beginning to fade in._

"_Obito! You…" Kakashi said, astonished._

_How…could…Obito?_

"_It…how…I shouldn't be seen!" the enemy stammered, blood pumping out of him. Obito had stabbed him right at the heart._

"_Wh…what? Those eyes…!" the enemy exclaimed on his last breath, falling forward with a thump._

_There was a moment of silence._

"_Now…" Obito said ending the moment, looking back at Kakashi. "I will protect my companions!"_

_Kakashi saw Obito's eyes first. Red as blood. Swirling with two black marks, two fish... spiraling around a pupil as black as night._

"_Obito…you…"Kakashi said. "Those eyes…"_

"_Yeah…"Obito answered, looking at his hands. "It seems like the Sharingan…I can see the movements and flow of chakra…"_

_For a while Kakashi had forgotten the pain in his eye, interested in the Sharingan, but suffering came back to him quickly and he closed his eyes, grimacing and putting both hands over the injured one._

_Kakashi felt Obito put his hand on Kakashi's shoulder. "Are you okay?" he heard Obito yell in a worried and nervous tone. "Kakashi?"_

"_Yeah…"Kakashi said after a while, reaching into his back pouch. "It seems my left eye's completely useless…" Kakashi produced the medical pack that Rin had given him before the whole mission. "I have this that I got from Rin. With emergency treatment, we can do it quickly," Kakashi said, then added, "Let's go rescue Rin right away!"_

_Obito seemed a bit surprised at Kakashi's last sentence. But then he announced, "Right!"_

"Where?" Rin asked.

Slowly, Kakashi put his finger over Obito's name.

Still there.

"Read," Rin demanded.

"Obito Uchiha," Kakashi said. His tongue felt awkward saying Obito's name. He hadn't said the name ever since his death. Hadn't spoken the syllables out loud for years.

Rin repeated the name softly.

Kakashi felt some sort of relief. Perhaps someone _would_ remember Obito's name. When he was gone maybe someone could tell Obito's story. There was a powerful wave of emotion that passed through him, a combination of all sports of feelings, a bitter loss, a warm revitalence, and even almost a blank…shallow pit inside him.

He observed Rin as her eyes lost focus, mind intent on searching the name out, trying to find familiarity in her memory regarding Obito Uchiha.

"Obito…sad?" Rin asked when she returned to the ground, her thinking complete.

Was Obito sad?

Kakashi was struck by the question. It was a question that Kakashi hadn't even thought about all this time. He had been so busy telling himself that this was all his fault…

that he never even regarded the way Obito might have felt in the end.

Kakashi really wasn't a good friend.

Obito wouldn't have felt happy about going, that was for sure…but was he really sad?

Of course Obito was.

That was his life.

Gone.

Ended.

Did he really want to give Kakashi his Sharingan? Or did Obito just feel that if he was dying anyway…to just give up his eye…

Thoughts…

Rin…

This girl would be the end of him, making him think and grieve more than he already was.

Superficially, he wondered if the makiwara boards were still up. Inside, he wondered if a kunai was long enough to stab through his stomach up to his heart.

Rin had to go.

"Come on," he said hastily, taking Rin's hand and leading her toward the orphanage.

He didn't exactly want to just leave Rin there.

But he didn't want to just let himself live either…

not after all that he'd done…

bringing Obito down all the time…

acting as if he were superior in his team…

loosing every single one of them in the end…

which he could have all prevented…

What more lives could he affect in the future?

_Rin_, the answer in his head popped up. _The girl living with me right now. I'm influencing her, affecting her…_

He was influencing everyone around him.

With every breath he took.

No more.

He didn't want to take any part in life any longer.

He increased the speed of his walking.

He even almost crashed into a random woman while turning a corner in his haste.

Then suddenly recognized…

He turned back and noticed the woman was looking at him, or more so, Rin. Rin was looking at the woman.

Black straight hair, blue eyes, but with perfect resemblance to the little kid whose hand he held right now.

The kid couldn't survive without a mother…

The woman opened her mouth before the other two could say anything.

"Rin?"

* * *

**Well then, any comment or criticism? I love it all.**

**Midori Fujiwara**

* * *


	2. Backlash

**Okay, time to explain that the time setting is kind of weird in this fanfiction, since Tsunade is the Hokage at the time, yet, Sasuke is still with the team and the team is still training with Kakashi. I don't know, don't ask, the story just wouldn't go without that twist of time, so deal with my insanity. :)**

**Midori Fujiwara**

"Rin?"

The woman's eyes showed relief but confusement mixed in with a dash of anger.

"Mom?"

Kakashi felt like slapping himself. He just _had _to believe the kid when she said she had no mother. Now he'd probably be fined for kidnapping or something.

The mother now looked at Kakashi. Her eyes read something along the lines of 'who the hell are you?'.

It was an awkward moment.

Rin's mother snatched Rin's hand away from Kakashi's angrily and didn't say anything as she turned and lead Rin away, in the opposite direction.

Rin looked back at Kakashi with wide eyes. She put her hand out to reach for him, but by now she was some ten feet away.

Kakashi kind of…watched Rin go away.

_Well then, _he thought. _That took care of everything._

He started home and his thoughts began to race.

There was a missing piece of information.

Perhaps Rin had…run away from her mother? The option wouldn't make sense because then Rin wouldn't have so reluctantly gone with her.

The mother was mostly angry. So most likely Rin had disappeared before…which didn't make sense either in a way because wouldn't the mother be more protective after the first disappearance?

And maybe the mother just didn't care…

Whatever.

Kakashi opened the door to his apartment and as it swung open, disappointment and depression overtook him again.

Unfortunately, he had put away the makiwara boards.

It was awkwardly quiet in the apartment now without Rin. Even though she didn't talk much, it was like taking away a loud clock from the room that wouldn't normally disturb you, and then suddenly realizing the loud silence…he admitted to himself that he enjoyed having the company of the little kid.

_Were they all like this? _, he thought.

Was he ever like Rin once when he was young?

Kakashi closed the door to his apartment and slowly stepped over to the shelf that held his ninjatou he had received as a former ANBU. He pulled the blade out of its sheath. The sharp edges shone a brilliant silver and white glare.

It was a handsome blade.

And just about the right length as well.

The picture above the shelf where the ninjatou was kept disturbed him. He didn't put up pictures around his apartment, hating the whole concept of pictures. But yet, this was the only one up. A picture of Team 7.

Influences…

Kakashi quickly sheathed the sword.

Perhaps he should say farewell first.

* * *

"Hn," Kakashi laughed once in humor at particularily nothing at all.

_Now all of us will be gone_, Kakashi thought dryly without any emotion.

He stood there, now, in front of the memorial, just rethinking his life as he always had.

But this time, he rethought his life in a more positive way.

_At least I installed some teamwork to them_, Kakashi thought to Obito. _One of your legacies…teamwork, that you taught me. At least your legacy is there…still alive…_

Kakashi touched Obito's name on the memorial.

_At least your name is there ready for someone with a willing mind to remember…_

Kakashi looked at the ground.

_You know I'm going straight to hell…if there is such thing as this so-called afterlife…whatever it is, I'm not going to be able to see you again…and I'm not going to be able to erase what I've done…the last I saw of you…the last you ever saw of me was when your Sharingan eye…_

Kakashi paused, frozen.

His left eye was Obito's.

Obito still lives…

It was like two boys had become one man.

And in the end, it was Kakashi who survived. Kakashi who was still living, still breathing. And it was Obito that was cold and lost to the earth.

And it was Rin who had performed the surgery to give Kakashi Obito's eye. And Rin who had taken care of all their injuries.

And it was Minato-sensei who had given up his life to save the village from the Nine-Tailed Fox.

There was only him left.

And, hell, what had _he _done?

_Ninja that don't follow the shinobi way are trash, but ninja that dump their friends and fellow teammates are even worse trash, _Kakashi thought. _That's what you said. And you're right…you always were. It was I who was the bad influence. That's why I commit hara-kiri. I've ashamed myself, my clan, my village, and everyone who sees me._

_And besides…_, he later added as an afterthought.

He needed a break anyway.

* * *

He unsheathed the ninjatou once again.

Was his blood even worth for the blade?

He settled it down again and took off his headband, vest, and shirt. He looked once at his sleeveless shirt that extended up to become his mask. He slipped out of this last layer.

The lower half of his face was hit with the cool air outside his mask. His face, his father's resemblance, revealed to the world again.

Just with Obito's eye.

Kakashi gripped the sword loosely, twirling it around one hand, watching the light gleam off the ninjatou.

In mid-twirl, he stopped the ninjatou and poked his stomach with the sharp tip lightly.

_Just skin and muscle_, he thought. _It's been done. Not impossible._

He just thought about how ironic it was that his father had done the same, out of the same reason: out of shame…

Father-to-son traits that were passed down.

Kakashi smirked.

He positioned the ninjatou at his stomach tilted upwards. The blade would go into his stomach to let him suffer, and then hit the heart from the bottom.

Hara-kiri had to be done precisely, but at the moment, Kakashi really didn't care.

He'd die anyway.

Taking the sword in both hands, he began to pull the sword into himself.

Kakashi saw his skin stretch inwards a bit, dimpling, but with applied force, the skin began to give way and he felt a slight discomfort, which met a climax of pain and then lessened, indicating he had broken through the skin.

Kakashi saw some blood drip down.

Great, the blade was biting.

He paused a second to adjust his hands and then continued. He closed his eyes and grimaced, imagining the blade tear through all the organs inside him.

But first, the muscle.

The pain was dull, but was starting to become increasingly intense. Kakashi told himself he should have inserted the blade faster, he should have been putting the blade in with more force, but he was so cautious…he didn't know how much force to use…

The pain was extremely intense now.

Kakashi wished to take out the blade and suffer the rest of life rather than this. But something stronger than his conscience decided to continue what he started and so he adjusted his hands again.

A desire to end…

The desire so strong, nothing could stop him.

He suddenly realized what suicide really was.

It was a battle between the physical body and mind.

Neither the body nor mind wanted to suffer.

Mental suffering was ended when the physical body suffered and ended.

If the physical body did not want to suffer…mental suffering would continue.

He exhaled sharply through his teeth and kept the blade biting.

He was surprised when he felt warm tears run down his face. He wasn't sure what he was…crying…for:…an innate bodily reaction to pain?...hurt emotions?...conflicting battles within himself?...realizing he was too pathetic to be able to end himself?...everything all together…?

He took in deep breaths, and felt his body vibrate…as if he was about to cry _because _he was crying.

_Stop crying, bitch, _he told himself, and as punishment for crying, he put in more force behind the ninjatou against himself, in great opposition to his physical body.

Shinobi dogma had said that a ninja was strongest only when the mind and body were in harmony.

Kakashi, in the midst of all this, smirked again when he remembered the dogma.

_You're laughing and crying and committing suicide at the same time_, he told himself. _What the hell is wrong with you, bitch?_

And then he smirked again.

_Everything._

He thought he was hallucinating at first, as though it was the physical body's attempt to stop its suffering, but when he heard a knock at his door a second time, his doubts were confirmed.

_Just ignore the person_, he thought, his mental side encouraging him to continue killing himself. But he wanted to throw away the blade and answer the door in an excuse to live a bit longer. His physical body strongly advocated that.

Now he suddenly began to question whether he really wanted to end his life or not…

Bad question.

"Shit," he muttered as the blade slipped an inch deeper.

The door knocked again.

"Shit," he repeated.

He opened his eyes and averted them to the direction of the door.

_Ignore,_ he told himself.

"Dad?" he heard a voice call.

_I'm hallucinating,_ he told himself. _Just my body trying to stop me…_

"Dad?"

"Shit," he said, under his breath.

Now what would he do?

"Dad?" Rin's voice called more loudly.

He thought for a period of time that felt like an hour to him, though in reality, only a half second. He relectantly threw aside the ninjatou, pulling it out of him, stopping his desired attempt to die, and quickly pulled on his mask, shirt, vest, and headband quickly, not caring much for bloodstains.

He swung open the door.

Rin.

Rin looked depressed.

"Your mom?" he asked.

"Gone," she said. "Again."

Kakashi didn't say anything. So it was the mother leaving the child, not the child leaving the mother.

"Drink," Rin explained. "A lot."

_The bar, _Kakashi thought.

So the mother had problems.

And it wasn't the first time.

Kakashi stared at Rin for a long while before letting her in. He led her directly to the bedroom, blocking her view from the random bloody ninjatou on the floor.

"Sleep," he simply said, and closed the bedroom door behind him.

He saw the tossed ninjatou on the floor. Picking it up, he scowled pathetically. The bloodline ended at about four inches away from the tip. Only four inches actually killing himself, and yet that mere amount he couldn't take.

_Pathetic, _he thought. _I'm pathetic._

Taking some scrap cloth, he wiped the blade and the small puddles on the floor. He noticed blood dripping off the bottom of his shirt.

Oh.

Lifting his clothing to reveal the wound, he felt only a pulse near the wounded area, as if his heart was pumping there.

He wished it was.

He would have been done at the moment.

The wound wasn't exactly streaming waterfalls of blood, but it wasn't exactly a minor papercut either. So Kakashi wrapped some cloth bandages around the blood, which immedietely reddened as the wound pumped out more blood. After a few seconds, there were small streams of blood slipping out beneath the super-absorbed cloth.

He stared a while at his blood.

No. He couldn't end now when there was another problem to take care of.

The orphanage wouldn't take Rin in because she had a mother still alive.

Period.

No more questions, although they did look at Kakashi quizzedly, wondering why Kakashi had a kid with him that wasn't his when he knew the mother was alive, but yet was turning the kid into an orphans' facility.

Kakashi didn't want to give Rin back to some unprotective drunk mother.

Rin probably didn't even have a home.

So he went to Lady Tsunade and explained the situation, after slipping back home to change the cloth around his suicidal attempt.

"I know you're probably attached to the girl now, but a child is taken care of by the child's parents, in this case, the mother," Lady Tsunade said, in a sympathetic tone.

Kakashi thought a while before saying something.

"This is no time to be feministic," he said.

Tsunade's eyebrows suddenly met, and her eyes flashed some anger.

"I'm not," she said though, just as calmly, contradicting with her body language. "The mother takes care of the child. Law by nature. Law by me."

"The mother isn't."

"Then the father does."

"He isn't known."

Lady Tsunade stared at him defiantly a moment before turning toward Rin.

"Who is your father, little one?" she asked, smiling and changing emotions quickly and fluently.

Rin didn't think a second before pointing at Kakashi.

Lady Tsunade paused a moment before looking back at Kakashi, changing emotions just as swiftly as before, now serious and professional, and saying, "I wish things would go that way, but I can't just give her up to you and say you are her legal father. The mother is still alive and she will most likely not consent. I'm sorry but it just can't be this way." Lady Tsunade looked sympathetically at Rin for a second before, without turning her head, making eye contact with Kakashi again. "You've gotten her too close to you…I suggest you give her up quickly before it hurts _her._"

"It will probably hurt her more to live with her mother," Kakashi said, in a feat of bravery: to object once more.

Lady Tsunade leaned forward from her chair and in a quiet, constrained voice, said, "To have a child that is not yours by blood or permission is considered kidnapping…will I need to charge you under that?"

Kakashi had expected that.

"Hn," he said, getting up and walking out the room, leaving Rin without even looking back.

* * *

**So now you have discovered a different side of Kakashi Hatake.**

**...**

**Well then drop off a comment? Review? You know they make me happy.**

**Midori Fujiwara**

* * *


	3. Cycle

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* * *

**

Well then people. I present the next chapter.

**-Midori Fujiwara**

* * *

Kakashi passed by a popular bar while he was on the way home. It was pitch black outside and the bar was the brightest building on the street.

He looked up at the moon and a few wispy gray clouds.

Where would Rin be staying now?

A sudden smell of perfume overloaded his thinking and the sound of breathing in his ear ticked the hairs on the back of his neck, as if something was crawling up on him from behind. Feeling two cold hands take the sides his neck, his mind was at first confused but then enlightened with a sudden realization. Meanwhile, someone, he assumed the same person, pressed up against the side of him and hot breath warmed the side of his face that this person was on.

He felt uncomfortable.

"You look lonely," a voice said. "Do you need company?"

Kakashi tried walking away, but the seducer blocked his way, hands now on his chest.

"Really now, don't lie to yourself."

He felt like pushing her out of the way, but a sudden light from a nearby building did that, the lamp's light glaring through the window, escaping past the drapes and providing just enough to reveal the faces of both the seducer and Kakashi to each other.

What the…

Kakashi recognized the face of Rin's mother. Was it really her, or was it only a resemblance? What…?

His question was answered when Rin's mother pushed him away, acknowledging that she had seen him before as well.

Rin's mother was a prostitute?

No wonder she wouldn't have cared for Rin…

_Just an accidental unintended child,_ Kakashi thought.

The mother pushed Kakashi away disgustedly.

"You pervert," she said.

Kakashi was just about to walk away, denying the fact that anything at all ever happened when a thought about Rin suddenly popped up in his head.

"Hey," Kakashi called, turning around quickly. But the mother was already a couple of steps away from him.

However, she had heard him and actually turned to look back at him, pausing a moment.

He took the opportunity and asked, quickly, "Can I talk to you about Rin?"

Rin's mother turned back around and quickly began to walk away, at an extremely fast pace, eventually breaking into a half-run. Kakashi felt a surge of energy, following up right after her, and then taking hold of the mother's arm. Rin's mother slipped away and now, feeling threatened, ran off.

Kakashi was a bit more violent than he expected himself to be, and, after catching up to her once again with his shinobi-trained speed, he caught her arm again, and pulled her to a wall, almost slamming her back against it.

"I'm asking you a question," he said calmly.

She looked defiantly at him a second before screaming.

And of course, people came looking out their windows, or stepping out of the doors to see what was going on. Some running out in utter fright or confusion.

"He touched me!" she yelled.

_The bitch_, Kakashi thought as he was pulled away.

* * *

"Kakashi," Lady Tsunade said angrily. She wasn't the person to mess with when not on an efficient amount of sleep, awoken in the middle of the night to settle the whole mess. "you have to leave them alone. You are not part of their family."

Kakashi didn't say anything.

"The mother seems well," Lady Tsunade said simply, leaving out a few details that Kakashi knew she knew.

"She really isn't."

Lady Tsunade took a deep breath and sighed. "Listen, I don't want to hear anything from or about you again regarding this matter."

Kakashi guessed this was her way of saying 'good night' and left into the night.

* * *

Outside, winter was marked by the first light snowfall. But this year seemed colder than ever to Kakashi, thinking about Rin out here again.

He had given her winter clothes, hadn't he?

She hadn't taken them, most likely. Most likely, left back at his apartment or something.

As another reminder of another loss.

A sharp gust of wind picked up loose snow off the ground and hurled it at his face.

He would have missed her as well, if that wind hadn't forced him to look to the side in trying to avoid getting snowflakes into his eye.

"Rin," he said.

She looked up and her face brightened when she saw him. But then that brightness was suddenly turned down.

"Oh…" she said. "Dad."

Kakashi observed the snow around her. The only side of her not surrounded by snow was her back, leaned against the wall.

"How long have you been out here?" he asked worriedly.

Rin took her eyes off him and stared at the snow on the ground, about an inch deep. She didn't say anything, but Kakashi knew for himself that answer.

She'd been there long before the snow began to fall…

Was Rin a toy that the mother and Kakashi were passing back and forth?

Probably.

He wasn't taking her home this time.

He turned and stepped away, and Rin's face was flooded with unmistakable emotion of fear, and hurt.

He closed his eyes for a brief second and forced himself not to look back, dragging one foot in front of the other. Walking away from someone that already felt like part of him. Like another section of him being pulled, being ripped completely away from the rest of him. Just another part of him.

One of the reasons why he disapproved of himself letting Rin into his life was because of the so many other losses he had. Each loss was another something taken away from him. At times like this Kakashi felt as though he had lost so much, there was really nothing more of him left. He proved that wrong when… he guessed there was just enough of him left to incorporate Rin in, though all the same, the sewing was soon ripped out.

And he stopped walking, and looked back at the small crouched figure, balled up against the snow.

He silently, without crunching any snow under his feet, walked back over to Rin. He studied Rin almost indifferently. She was…tucking her head into her knees and wrapping her arms around her lifted knees, keeping in as much warmth as she could, probably her only comfort in the world at the moment.

Then a sudden sympathy overtook him. He wasn't the only person to have walked out of her life every so often. He couldn't have been. And in how many stitched, unstitched, and re-stitched parts of her did she have? How much of her has she lost? And as a child, she didn't even have too much. Rin had probably felt like nothing already. Had nothing. He guessed when he entered her life, new hope had been created inside her. A new hope that maybe, just maybe she would be whole again. A new hope that she could base her new life on. A new life where the old life would be forgotten.

He had pulled that away from her.

Leaving her with less than she had before.

Less than nothing.

"Rin," he said.

She looked up confused, but then all at once brightening once again, as if nothing had even happened before.

Kakashi's hand moved out to offer itself to Rin.

Rin reached for his hand, getting up, but stopped herself.

"No," she said. "No go to Dad. Mom said."

Kakashi took Rin's hand and pulled her up anyway.

"You're not going to me," he said. "You're going to your mom _with _me."

* * *

They found the mother in the same state as Rin.

But more extreme.

She was lying on the banks of the river and continued to lie there while the snow was falling.

Her eyes were closed and a few snowflakes had caught in her eyelashes. Her clothes were probably damp from laying in the snow and her face and fingers were pale. Her lips were beginning to cyanide. Kakashi noticed clouds of steam regularly arising from her face, specifically mouth. And the air around her smelled faintly of what Kakashi recognized as alcohol.

He looked back at Rin, whose face was expressionless.

He stood there, thinking a long while about consequences.

Rin shivered and Kakashi finalized his decision by bending down to pick up Rin's mother bridal position.

* * *

He got her all the way to what-was-now Rin's bedroom. When he lay her mother down on the bed, she still lay still as ever. Kakashi looked away and out the window, gazing at the moon from behind the misting glass, window half-obstructed by snow.

Signifying Rin to go to sleep, Kakashi walked out of the room and took a seat on the couch.

So now not only did he take in Rin, but now her mother.

The more the merrier?

No, the more the more awkward.

Who was next, the father?

And maybe Rin had a sibling.

Too much for the apartment of a single man with one bedroom and one bathroom…come to think of it, just one of everything, whatever he had, except for maybe…food and clothing.

He really wanted to lie down, sleep, and forget about all this crap but he couldn't just go to sleep. The whole situation was too weird, too awkward for any rest at all. He'd have to stay awake and 

rethink a few things. Unfortunately, sleep was tired of being ignored and Kakashi found it hard to keep awake. He found himself chasing thought after thought to keep himself up and conscious.

_You do this at least once a week, Kakashi_, he thought to himself. _Just stay up this one whole night…_

But maybe, just a five-minute break for the eyes…

And maybe…

* * *

He knew he shouldn't have lay down in the first place. He had fallen asleep, a lot heavier than usual, and the first sound he heard was a hard thump that vibrated the floor.

He confusedly looked up and saw the table flipped over. A figure slipped into the kitchen and turned on the lights.

Despite the overtaking tiredness, Kakashi still had enough conscious to figure out the following logic in his head quickly.

Fact: The table, a heavy object was flipped over.

Fact: Rin couldn't lift heavy objects.

Fact: Rin couldn't reach the light switch.

Conclusion: This was Rin's mother's doing.

Second Conclusion: This was Rin's mother trashing his home.

Additional Support for Second Conclusion: What else could she be doing?

He leaped off the couch and entered the kitchen just in time to catch the plates that had been thrown down from their place on the shelves. Considering he had only four or five, he caught the plates all easily between his fingers, and settled them down on the counter, safe, before now rescuing the bowls. Before Rin's mother could touch anything more, he pushed her to the side and away from fragile items so that nothing else could be broken, or even touched, since he sided her toward the refrigerator.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked angrily. He already knew what the hell was wrong with her, but he needed something to say and nothing else was coming up in the fog of the world that he perceived because of fatigue. He had learned very long ago that it was better to, if having three or less hours left to sleep, just stay up the rest of the night because otherwise, sleeping the little amount would have only made the fatigue stronger.

She looked at him with red bloodshot eyes, as if she hadn't slept in days or was in a lot of stress.

"Ask yourself that," she said quietly, and moved him out of the way casually to continue her work of trashing his home.

_I do, _he answered mentally before dragging her into the living room, actually forcing her to go there since he blocked further access into the kitchen. The living room, at least, had heavier items for one, and were where the less fragile items were.

"What…" he asked, and dropped off, suddenly unsure of what question to ask. There were too many complications in the whole situation, and all the questions had to be answered.

Their conversation was simple and brief.

"What is your problem?" he asked.

"Right now?"

"Yes."

"You."

And then she slapped him. Hard. Against his cheek. So hard he felt warm liquid run down from his nose, and he was aware his nose was now bleeding. He hoped that the blood wouldn't flow out too fast so that it would stain through his mask, so that she had an indication he was bleeding. If she did, she would have, in a way, won the whole fight.

"What's _your _problem?" she asked back. "She's not even your child! Don't deal with her! If I wanted to leave her, I would leave her! And that doesn't mean you get involved!"

"And if you leave her, and I take her in, you don't have to return," he replied.

"She's my child."

"You want to leave her? Why hadn't you gotten rid of her sooner? Killed her just a bit earlier? Some parent you are, just throwing her around, as if you're experimenting how much she can actually take before breaking down. I won't let you do that and I'll do everything I can to stop you."

"Yet you saved me from dying in the snow."

"You're her mother," Kakashi said, not at all satisfied with his weak argument.

She had definitely won the fight.

"This is all so stupid! Why would you care for a brat like her anyway?"

The two were suddenly distracted when they both noticed a small figure run crying back into the bedroom.

* * *

**My opinion? This was somewhat of a weird chapter, especially with the introduction of Rin's mother. But I wouldn't know what you think about it, would I? I could only guess. With only your help of clicking that purple Review button, I can truly know what is going on in your minds about this story. Help in my quest of understanding the rest of humanity, one review at a time.**

**:)**

**-Midori Fujiwara**


	4. Memories

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Enjoy...

**Midori Fujiwara**

**--**

Kakashi watched Rin's mother carefully, fully aware of the fact that she was still in his apartment, and that she still had the capability to throw around random items in his home. But she simply slid open the glass door leading to his balcony and, despite not wearing any shoes, walked out onto the cold metal and ice. She didn't seem to be affected by the cold, not even slightly shivering, which Kakashi found amusing, since her name, he had recently found out, was Yukiko. Yukiko meaning 'child of winter'. She suit her name well. Kakashi glanced a moment at what she was doing. She was simply looking down from the balcony.

He thought a long long moment before joining her on the balcony.

"I don't want to leave her," she said a while after he stepped out.

Kakashi stepped fully onto his balcony and leaned forward against the black cold metal railing, after pushing off the snow on it away and down at the ground. He watched the snow fall to the blanket of snow on the ground, still untouched by any footprints. The snow he had pushed off killed the entire smoothness of the snow blanket. The only disturbed area.

That one disturbed area that ruined the rest.

"I just can't take care of her…" Rin's mother continued.

Kakashi paused mid-thought about the snow and without turning his hand, looked sideways to take a look at Rin's mother. Was she talking to him or was she talking to herself? And was she somehow apologizing for the whole situation?

"I don't want to see her cry…I don't want my child to live a bad life…she deserves so much better…"

Kakashi actually found himself ignoring her voice.

"That's why I have to just…abandon her, evade her suffering...there's no other way…"

He heard her voice choke and she couldn't finish her thoughts.

"I…can't support her," she said, forcing it out almost.

So she was talking somewhat in a way to him.

Then for a while, all Kakashi heard was the sound of quiet sobbing.

Kakashi channeled his thoughts on the snow again. He didn't have to hear all this.

"Oh kill me now," she said in the quietest voice the human could ever reach. And she began to climb over the balcony ledge, tears still running, unfrozen on her face despite the freezing temperatures.

The thought of the ninjatou going through him replayed in his mind.

Yukiko was already half way over and let go of the ledge completely without any moment's hesitation. It almost scared him because the abrupt decision she made, it made it seem as though she had been planning every one of her moves all along.

Kakashi reacted out of nowhere and reached out to grab her, almost missing. Sweat broke out as he pulled her back onto the balcony and she fell into and against him, crying into him, crying so that her tears soaked into the fabric of his shirt, in a sense, wiping away her tears.

* * *

Kakashi wished he had planned to do something other than site around the rest of the day.

Yukiko was cooking in the kitchen. The kitchen she almost trashed that same morning, she was putting out a different attitude on right now. With the lack of sound, Kakashi got suspicious, but when hearing bowls clinking he quickly concluded that she was starting to serve the food. He heard her call Rin too. And despite the extremely low volume of her voice, Rin still came up all the same.

RIn.

The pack of Oishi prawn crackers brought him in this situation here to that day.

Why'd he ever listen to his stomach anyway?

He watched Rin sit down to face a bowl of rice on the table.

There were three bowls of rice? Who was the third--?

Oh, of course.

Him.

He began to wonder if it was better to wait until he was called, or to just take a seat to avoid any speech.

He looked briefly towards Yukiko, and she caught his eye. She looked back at him blankly, and her eyes averted to one of the bowls on the table before she looked back at him again.

He took that as an 'okay-to-sit-down-there' sign and slowly made his way over.

How strange and paradoxical everything was today.

And then Yukiko sat across from him, Rin on the side between the two. The food was there to be served, but no one raised a chopstick. RIn, being a child, had to wait until her superiors took food, and she was drilled into this custom, living in a country with such traditions. Rin looked back and forth between her current superiors, both whose minds were going high speeds trying to make a decision as to whether to wait or take the food.

Kakashi kept his eyes on the food to avoid any eye-catching. It seemed hours waiting and a few times he was about to take the food himself and his arm actually twitched in anticipation and impatience.

So the three of them sat there, just waiting, watching the food go cold.

Finally, a chopstick took a small portion of the fish.

"Hee…" Rin sheepishly smiled and put the fish in her bowl. She began to eat, the first one out of the three.

Yukiko quickly took some piece of fish.

Kakashi waited until all the chopsticks pocking at the fish were gone before raising his hands above the table…

There was a silence as his chopsticks slowly dove for the food. How he hated this…attention he got…

It seemed forever to him, the time it took to take a portion of the fish. But finally he got what he wanted and put it down on top of the rice.

His left hand reached up to finger the end of his mask, before pulling it down to his head down, but his head didn't follow his mind's will and his eye caught Rin and Yukiko's eyes.

_Shit_, he thought. _Too much attention…_

He was glad he hadn't bothered to take off his headband either. Didn't need any more attention than he had now.

He concentrated on the food, eating quicker than usual, which was actually quite quick enough.

If those minutes waiting for someone to take the food were hours, then dinner in comparison was decades.

* * *

Kakashi thought the worst was over after dinner. But once the table was cleared, everything cleared, and Rin put to sleep, he knew he was in for a nightmare.

Because now, Yukiko came out of the bedroom, meaning she wasn't sleeping yet. Meaning Rin wasn't awake. Meaning it was just him…and her.

To make it worse, she sat down on the couch where he was sitting, but at least on the opposite end.

She made direct eye contact with him.

"I'm sorry," she said simply. "I should have thanked you before for taking care of her when I couldn't…instead of…overreacting…"

Kakashi looked away from her and to a wall.

"I'm such a bad mother," she said softly, as if talking to herself. But he still heard her, which made him wonder, again like on the balcony, whether or not she was talking to him, and whether that was supposed to be heard at all.

Kakashi's mind tried to put together the shortest question possible that would answer everything.

"How did you get in this situation?" he finally asked.

She thought a while before answering.

"I was poor from the beginning…and when the apartment I was living in caught on fire, everything I ever owned was ash. I had no living relatives so I would stay at my friends' homes, each about a day or two at most. They had their own families to support. While living with my friends however, I couldn't find any job. The one I had previously was affected by the same fire. I only found temporary work, which was nothing, practically free labor.

"I ran out of friends to stay with and started to live on the streets, slowly using up the money I had. I realized I was losing anyway…and that's how…" She dropped off.

Kakashi pretended to not have any reaction to the last statement. Though really inside he was being chilled at the time…the last time he was passing a bar…

"I don't know her true father…and everything has been downhill since…she's been more of a burden than a treasure to me…"

_Just an accidental unintended child, _he thought again like before when he first say Rin's mother…at her work.

"I'm sorry I overreacted in the beginning."

After several seconds, Kakashi said, "It's understandable."

A long prolonged.

Kakashi focused his mind to the floor.

And then suddenly he noticed she had gotten off the couch and was standing before him. He jerked a little, unnoticeably, when he say her bend down. She embraced him and he tensed.

"You don't know how grateful I am…" she said.

Kakashi wanted to squirm away from her embrace and became quite restless. If dinner was days, then the embrace in comparison, though lasting less than two seconds, was centuries. But he barely moved, just his muscles tensing.

Then she walked away and went into the bedroom.

Kakashi, in contrast to moving and getting out the twitch that he had held in, simply sat there. And in sharp contradiction to himself, had thoughts relishing on the still lingering heat of her arms around.

* * *

**Do I really have to beg and plead for you to simply press a button and speak your mind? Which really, now that I think about it...reviews are like my salary...because otherwise I really wouldn't post the story now would I? I'd just keep it all inside...**

**So I'd like a promotion. Thanks in advance. XD**

**Midori Fujiwara**


	5. Landing

**Thanks for all the support, people. Have nice lives and hope to see you around someday. (which is a good song, by the way, from Nickelback).**

**Midori Fujiwara**

* * *

The snow fell, soft puffs of crystal that sparkled down layer after layer, covering all the surface and leaving blankets of fresh, smooth, untouched, and clean snow.

Snow was a favorite in children's toy boxes that only was found in one season every year. So of course, after the first heavy snowfall, Rin jumped at the chance to play in it.

"Snow. Play," Rin said cheerfully. And she even put on the winter clothes Kakashi had bought for her. She expected to go outside.

Kakashi readjusted his mask, pulling it higher, and looked toward Yukiko's direction. She didn't object, didn't even seem to hear, so Kakashi decided it was okay for Rin to go.

They were the first to touch the snow in the area they chose. Rin tried to scoop up some snow, but she made small hills instead. Her efforts to pick up some snow were given up so Kakashi bent down and, with great expertise, made a perfect snowball, feeling the familiar crunch in his hands, and the stinging coolness some flakes left on his fingers.

Kakashi showed it to Rin, and she tried to copy the way he made a snowball. She was successful however, in making a half-squished sphere, and when she tried to fix the lopsidedness, the snowball fell apart in chunks.

He just observed her as she tried once more to make a perfect snowball. The snowball in his own hand was slowly freezing up his hand, but he ignored the numbness.

_She learns quickly, _he thought as Rin, on only her second try, had made a perfect snowball, only much smaller than it was intended to be, dropping a lot of the picked up snow that was intended to be part of the snowball.

Rin dropped it in the snow and made a hill over the small snowball, and then picked it the snowball and the extra snow she piled over it. She molded the excess snow around it to increase the snowball's size. She continued to enlarge her snowball this way until it got to the size of her head, and started to become difficult to lift.

He was still holding his original snowball in one hand, so used his free hand to push Rin's large snowball along the snow. Within a few moments, Rin had caught on and realized that rolling the snowball in the snow would gradually increase its size.

Kakashi watched Rin enlarge her snowball until it was almost her size before stopping.

Kakashi dropped his own snowball finally and kicking it along, made a snowball a bit smaller than the one Rin made. He picked it up and put it on top of Rin's larger one.

He turned around and saw Rin with a smaller snowball than the first two in her hands. She stood on her tiptoes to try to place the smallest one on top, but she was too short. Kakashi lifted her finally and she proudly put the last piece on the snowman.

Rin poked two eyes and drew a large U-shaped smile wide across the snowman's face.

Kakashi found himself slightly smiling, something he hadn't done in more than two years. Not a fake or cheesy smile, but a real one, with the real emotion of happiness behind it. Actually, he wasn't exactly happy, he just smiled out of nowhere, maybe because of nostalgia or maybe just because Rin was doing something child-like like she was expected to do.

Whatever it was, it wasn't fake.

He bent down to pick up more snow. Out of boredom, he shaped the snow into another snowball, feeling the distinct crunch once again.

His senses picked up several things at once. First, the atmosphere didn't feel right. And he also had heard an extra crunch of snow that he himself didn't make. He whipped around his eye caught a white moving object. By reflex, he hurled the snowball he had just made at it.

The white moving object turned out to be a snowball that was thrown at him. When his snowball and the one coming at him met in the air, they collided and, being fresh snow, broke up into tiny snowflakes and dispersed in the air, creating a cloud of white.

The cloud cleared, snow falling back down to the surface and Kakashi instantly recognized Maito.

Kakashi was suddenly filled with annoyance, but he was in a better mood at the moment, so the emotion was more simmered down.

"Ah, Kakashi, my eternal rival! What a coincidence seeing you here! Speaking of which, I challenge you to the ultimate snow fight!"

"Sure, a game…why not?" Kakashi said dully.

"This is not a game! It is a full-fledged competition between me and you! And currently I have more wins than you…50 wins!"

"Half of which were ultimate rock-paper-scissor contests," Kakashi replied.

Simply put, Maito got mad.

"Predicting the enemy's move is a skill that every valued ninja has," Maito defended. "Without precognition of the enemy's move, the shinobi could ultimately fail the battle because of the disadvantage of not being able to know what will come next, meaning not being able to expect anything. Furthermore, prediction of the enemy's move could very well be proportional to the amount of intellect the shinobi has. But not just any prediction; only a sensible prediction will prove the level of higher standard thinking. And the more accurate predictions a shinobi makes, the smarter he is assumed to be. 

That way, simply put, the shinobi battle is not entirely of skill, but of intellect as well. So sometimes, the shinobi deemed to be the strongest with high regards from everyone is usually the weakest in reality, because there are so many _more_ factors to a fight in shinobi standards."

Kakashi looked up from the ground when he sensed the sudden quietness. Maito stopped talking? Kakashi asked, "You said something?"

"That is it! Whoever gets hit by the opponent's snowball first is the loser! This contest will determine our worth as shinobi!"

Kakashi blinked and then looked back at Rin, who was also staring at this overreacting person. He swiftly lifted her up and put her to the side, lest she get hit by a snowball.

Kakashi scooped up some snow with one hand and, keeping an eye on Maito, slowly cupped the snow to make it into yet another snowball. As he waited for Maito to make a move, he rounded it out, stalling a bit, letting Maito make the first move.

The trick to waiting for someone to move was to not keep an eye on the opponent's hands or feet, but to watch the hair on the opponent's head as well, since that would almost always be first to move.

And so, at the sight of movement, Kakashi threw out his snowball and grabbed some snow before siding away from one of Maito's thrown ones. He pulled back his arm to hurl a snowball at Maito, but knowing Maito as a specialist in taijutsu, knew that he was too slow for Maito. Maito would have already made up a large stock of snowballs by now.

His premonition was right and Kakashi found himself dodging several snowballs at a time. It felt almost endless, this barricade, and Kakashi was nearly hit by one. He backed up into a tree and ducking a final snowball, leapt into one of the snowy branches.

_Not good,_ he thought as snow fell to the ground from the branch, giving away his location. Thinking quickly, he extracted some thread out of a broken seam on his vest.

Now he needed a distraction.

Taking the snowball he hadn't thrown yet, he placed it on a small notch near the end of a small outstretched branch above him.

He kicked some snow into the air around him, making a swirling mass of loose snow around him. Wouldn't hide him, but would at least hide him tying the thread onto the end of the branch with the snowball perched on top of it. He dangled the thread down to the ground.

Simple thing, but so simple, Maito could overlook it.

Maito had leapt onto branch about the same level Kakashi was on, but on another tree.

By this time, Kakashi was ready and fired a few snowballs at him, and at the same time, leaped onto a higher branch. His landing on the next branch wasn't good, and some snow from above powdered down on him, landing on his head and some flakes chilling his neck.

Maito followed, complete with snowballs going several miles an hour at Kakashi.

From there on, it was just Kakashi and Maito leaping up to higher branches all at the same time throwing snowballs one after the other. When Kakashi couldn't find a higher branch, he leapt off and landed on the ground. Quickly looking around for a thread, he took it and dodged a snowball from Maito, how five feet away from where he was previously.

_Who knew thread from an old vest could be this long?_, Kakashi thought, almost in humor.

Maito landed on the ground holding a snowball. He already had pulled his arm back to throw it at Kakashi. But since he was standing perfectly under the snowball 'trap' Kakashi had made before, Kakashi knew he'd never get a chance to throw it.

Maito answered Kakashi's thoughts.

"It's over," Maito smirked.

"It is," Kakashi agreed, and internally smirked, knowing no one would see him smirk anyway even if he did do so physically.

He pulled the thread, which he held between his index and middle fingers.

The snowball landed on Maito's head with a satisfying plop.

"50," Kakashi said, reminding Maito of his new score of wins, which now tied with Maito's. He might lose putting out rock instead of paper, but he definitely wasn't losing something that he could win without chance.

Rin started to laugh.

Maito scowled before brushing off snow from his head and walking away, shooting eyes at Kakashi that read something along the lines of 'it's not over, wait until next time…'

Kakashi looked up toward the sky, noticing a figure out on the balcony and recognized Yukiko.

It was like a still photograph or painting. Yukiko was standing out there, in a red turtleneck sweater and black dress, arms crossed with the elbows and forearms on the balcony ledge.

From this far down, Kakashi couldn't tell what she was looking at, but she was definitely looking down.

And obviously had been watching Rin and Kakashi the whole time.

* * *

Kakashi and Rin came home to see Yukiko back inside and looking at the only picture he owned. The one of Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke and him. The team picture.

It was directly above the ninjatou, the one that had tasted his blood.

He hoped she hadn't touched it.

She turned her head to face them. "Did you have fun?" she asked. And then she smiled.

Kakashi stared, realizing he never did see her smile before. Her smile was one of the rare ones…one of those that made someone forget all the sorrows in life for that one moment.

And then suddenly, she was standing directly in front of him.

"Looks like you had more fun than Rin," she said softly, brushing off snow from his shoulders.

And then his hair.

Kakashi tensed again. 'Don't touch me' , he wanted to say. But he unfortunately reminded himself of her embrace the other night because of that.

* * *

And unfortunately Rin came out of nowhere while Kakashi was training the team, even though he had left her home with Yukiko quite carelessly.

"Daddy!" Rin tackled Kakashi's leg. Yukiko came after Rin, slowly approaching the scene, looking at Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke.

_Well at least now I know she isn't trashing my house,_ Kakashi forced himself to think optimistically. Kakashi lifted Rin off his leg and put her some foot away from him.

So now one thing was solved.

But there was another problem now.

"You're Kakashi's students, aren't you?" Yukiko asked the team.

They nodded.

"Oh, I saw you in a picture," she said.

A brief moment of complete silence followed, and then Yukiko took Rin away, saying, "Well I'm sorry for being a disturbance," as she casually walked off.

Kakashi shot her an angry look that she never saw, and when he turned around to face his students, they were looking weirdly at him.

"But I thought—" Sakura started.

"You have a wife and kid?" Naruto asked in shock, and quite loudly.

Sasuke said nothing, but blinked and looked down at the ground, not sure what to say.

"No, I don't have a wife or kid," Kakashi replied, reaching into one of his pockets.

"But—"

Kakashi flipped out his book to a random page and began to read.

* * *

_This can't go on forever, _Kakashi thought as he came home. The two couldn't stay at his place forever. It wasn't that he minded it was just…okay he minded a bit, but it was…overall much too awkward. There was an excuse when it was only Rin, because he was taking her in. Yukiko was a different story. How ironic…what would Lady Tsunade react to the situation of she was told of it?

He found Yukiko and thinking quickly, said "Let's go eat dinner," and then added, "Just you and me." He tried to make it casual, which he did, except that he felt his voice was shaky.

Her face paled as if she knew what this whole thing was going to be about.

She probably did.

With her consent, Rin was left home and they went into the nearest restaurant, taking a private room.

They sat down across from each other in silence for a while, Yukiko staring at the edge of the table, and Kakashi busily thinking about how he would start the conversation.

"About the—" Kakashi started.

But he was interrupted by the abrupt waiter who came into the room and asked for their order.

They both ordered something small and the waiter quickly wrote the numbers down and left as abruptly as he had come in.

Now, suddenly, Kakashi didn't feel like talking anymore. As he stared off at a wall, his mind made imaginary clicks of the seconds going by and the time being wasted.

"Thank you for letting us stay…" Yukiko said. "It's been a long time and—"

She knew exactly what this was about. Great, he didn't have to explain as much.

The abrupt waiter came in again and served out the dishes.

_Isn't service supposed to be slower?_, he thought.

But he heard her laugh softly and suddenly realized he must have said it out loud.

The food, being there, became a distraction. He made the decision of eating first and talking later, but something at the back of his head nagged at him, predicting that they'd probably just eat and leave, and the conversation would never have even started.

Kakashi ignored his mind and attended to his stomach. Though he took some more caution doing this, because the last time he had done that, there was a nice long chain of events, in fact, that eventually lead up to this very point in time right now.

At first, he was uncomfortable, but he remembered that she'd already seen his face. He pulled his mask down, trying to do it as casually as possible and began to eat. He didn't bother to remove his headband; she didn't need to see that.

He ate without taste because memories of Obito disturbed him. And then the annoying pain at his abdomen, reminding himself of what he had tried before…

He finished the meal off with a drink of water and waited, watching Yukiko finish her food. He began to study her, to kill time. Rin had inherited many of her mother's traits, he observed. Rin was almost like a younger version of Yukiko, except that Rin had a different color hair and eyes, which made her like more like the Rin he knew, the Rin from his team.

Now that he was actually paying attention of her, he suddenly realized that he was taking a liking of her appearance, especially now under the light.

Kakashi focused his mind on Rin again. Come to think of it, she was almost like his own daughter. Not physically, but definitely mentally.

It would be quite lonely at his apartment.

He was reminded of the warmth he felt when Yukiko had embraced him. It was a warmth immeasurable and comparative to the sun's. And having someone just a bit too close to him…breaking through a barrier that no one had ever tried to pass.

His thoughts stopped with the clink of chopstick on porcelain.

Yukiko now stared over at his empty plate.

"You know…" she said.

Kakashi learned forward to indicate his attention, arms crossed and elbows on the table.

"I was just thinking…" she said, turning her head to the left, in a struggle to get out what she had to get out. Kakashi watched her lips move, forming each word to assure himself he wasn't just hallucinating voices. "I was just thinking things over and…"

Her voice became fainter in his head as his mental thoughts took over. Hn, he wasn't paying attention again… Kakashi's mind began to piece together what he assumed she'd say. But since he knew that two things were unpredictable: the future and humanity, he forced himself to pay attention to Yukiko to hear what she had to say. So he studied the lines and curves that made up her face to follow along with the motions her lips made forming words.

Despite all the forced concentration, he found he couldn't concentrate, instead of listening to her actual voice, he was paying attention only to the movement of her lips.

But he sensed the silence when it came.

"I think…" she said, and dropped off when she turned her head to face him, noticing sudden proximity.

He wasn't sure what part of him was controlling him, but he learned in and closed the space between their lips. It wasn't much of a kiss, he knew, because he just simply let their lips touch gently. There wasn't much emotion in it as well, just only light contact and that was all.

But it was quite a unique sensation.

He sensed something in the distance and pulled back from her lips, leaning back against his chair. He pulled his mask up the second before the abrupt waiter came in.

* * *

Rin persuaded Kakashi to go to the memorial stone, for no apparent reason exactly, but Kakashi suspected it was probably because he had been blanking out for most of the day, and Rin thought he was being depressed again.

He couldn't help but smile whenever thinking about Rin.

_Just some Oishi prawn crackers…_, he thought.

The depression of his life returned upon coming to the memorial.

Kakashi stared at Obito's name after he watched Rin go off into the distance, chasing after a butterfly.

He got flashes from the past in several strong emotional scenes the moment he looked at Obito's name.

_Kakashi and Obito arrived at the scene, and didn't even consider making their appearance a sneak attack. They were quite confident enough that the enemy in front of them was the last one._

_The enemy heard their arrival and turned around. Upon seeing the enemy muttered to himself, "Everyone's useless…", referring to the fact that the enemy's comrade had failed to stop Obito and Kakashi._

_There was a little humor in what the enemy had said but Obito set the seriousness back, whispering to Kakashi what he observed. "Rin's chakra flow is irregular…" he said. "…completely different to mine and yours…"_

_To which Kakashi replied, "She could have been put under some genjutsu…it was probably to get information out of her quickly."_

_The enemy studied Kakashi and Obito briefly. "Hm…" he said, "looks like you're no ordinary brats…"_

"_We've already beaten one, but…this one has high speed," Obito quickly warned, settling into a fighting stance. "Be careful."_

_Kakashi reached for his chakra blade and unsheathed it quickly. "Right," he answered._

_Kakashi and Obito charged first, and the enemy followed, two blades sliding out of the enemy's attack now. _

_Kakashi quickly thought of how to evade the enemy's counterattack against him, while he watched the enemy's two blades coming in to slash him…_

_To both Kakashi and enemy's surprise however, Obito kicked both legs up to stop the enemy's arms from advancing, leaving Kakashi open and having a chance to attack at the enemy._

_Kakashi took the chance, slashing down hard, and leaving a gash on the enemy's shoulder._

_The enemy flinched and Kakashi hopped off the enemy to pass behind him to get to Rin. The enemy fell to the ground in Kakashi's push off his body, and Obito followed after Kakashi._

"_Kai!" Kakashi said quickly while the two approached Rin._

_Rin snapped out of the genjutsu._

"_Kakashi…Obito…" she said in relief and happiness._

"_We came to save you, Rin! It's alright now!" Obito explained._

"_Right!" Kakashi said, using a kunai to cut Rin out from the rope binding she was in. "We'd better get out of here fast."_

_Rin's face brightened in hearing how Obito and Kakashi had finally worked out well together. All this time, she had been the middle of their frequent arguments…she was so glad that Obito and Kakashi had finally settled their differences…_

"_Indeed…that was a good combination," the enemy said, standing up again. "But you're still just brats…you're now right in my hands…"_

_Kakashi didn't even have time to think before the enemy suddenly put his right hand to the ground, saying, "Earth Release! Rock Lodement Destruction!"_

_The three of them suddenly noticed builders falling in from the air._

"_Oh damn!" Obito exclaimed while Rin was speechless._

"_Everyone, get out of here, quickly!" kakashi yelled._

_This command didn't take long to follow and the three ran for their lives as boulders larger than themselves crashed down on the ground they had only run past under a split second ago._

_Kakashi felt a hard thawk on his left shoulder. He fell to the ground, noticing to himself that the rock had hit him in his blind spot._

_He fell, knowing that the boulders would encase him in a tomb of stone._

He was about to lose himself when Yukiko's voice asked, "Who did you lose?"

For all his life, Kakashi wanted someone to vent out his emotions to. But now suddenly, as he got the opportunity to talk about his past to someone, he didn't feel like sharing anymore. Maybe it was because there was so much to say, and that he didn't feel like talking much. But whatever it was, he felt constrained to say even a word.

"My friend," Kakashi suddenly said, surprising himself. "My friend Obito Uchiha…when I was thirteen…"

He said 'thirteen' and surprised himself. _So long ago? _, he heard himself think. _Was it really that long ago? _It only felt like yesterday to him.

"We were on a mission…" he continued, "and our teammate was captured."

_Shut up, _he heard himself say. _Just stop and shut up._

But he couldn't.

"Obito wanted to save her, but I wanted to just forget her and continue on with the mission…because that was how I was brought up…my own father had dropped a mission to save his teammates' lives…and was put in shame by the Land of Fire for failing it…" Kakashi paused.

"He committed suicide," Kakashi plainly said, but internally he was twisted in pain. "So I didn't wanted to made the same mistake he did…because if I did, my father's life would have been wasted… and if he ended himself, it meant he wanted to have taught me a lesson that I would never forget…

"So I went a separate way from Obito…but before we went separate ways he told me my father was right in saving his teammate's lives…so some while after we had parted, I changed my mind and came to find him right in time to save him from being hit…but my eye received the damage in exchange…And then later, after finding back our captured teammate…who was…Rin…"

Kakashi glanced over toward Rin's direction, who was passing by, running still after the butterfly.

"And then there was a final attack…a rockslide…I couldn't see the rocks and Obito pushed me out of the way of falling boulders…the boulders crushed him instead…he offered me later…on his dying breaths…a replacement for my hurt eye—"

Kakashi stopped.

A whoosh of sudden emotion went through him.

He had said it. He had proved to himself his life wasn't just a nightmare. He had told Obito's story. He had told himself that his was real life.

Kakashi felt as though he was being pulled back down to earth.

To reality.

Obito's death had happened.

His father's suicide was material.

His life…

was real.

Yukiko raised her hand and slowly pulled up his headband, seeing his Sharingan eye for the first time.

Her face got closer to his and her lips touched his Sharingan eye, or at least the eyelid of it. Withdrawing, she ran her finger along the scar he had vertically through the skin around his replaced eye.

And then she embraced him, and as he returned the embrace, he left like all the grief in him was being lifted…

* * *

Yukiko and Kakashi sat on the couch while Rin was asleep that night.

"It feels life Rin is my own daughter," Kakashi admitted to Yukiko, once again, bringing up the issue about them being in his apartment. "And I've gotten really close to her." After he thought a quick second, he added, "So I was just thinking…"

He looked up to see Yukiko's expression, but she was waiting emotionlessly for the end of his sentence.

"Thinking that we should…get married," Kakashi simply stated.

Yukiko blushed and began to stammer. "You don't have to…to do this for Rin…you know, I mean it's just—"

"No," Kakashi interrupted, keeping his calm voice but his heart exponentially increasing. "I'm marrying you because I want to…and I was just asking if you'd like that."

Yukiko looked to the side.

"Yes…" she said, and looked back up at him. "I'd…like that a lot."

Kakashi smiled an unseen smile and pulled down his mask, aiming his mouth at her lips, but the split second he would have made contact, they both heard a noise.

"Aaah!" Rin yelled, covering her eyes and running back into the bedroom.

* * *

…**and stories have to end somehow, right?**

**But that paves the way for a new beginning of a new story...**

**Midori Fujiwara**


End file.
